St. Therese ~ A February Devotion

Dear Little Flower, make all things lead me to heaven and God, Whether I look at the sun, the moon, the stars and the vast expanse in which they float, or whether I look at the flowers of the field, the trees of the forest, the beauties of the earth so full of color and so glorious, may they speak to me of the love and power of God; may they all sing His praises in my ear. Like you may I daily love Him more and more in return for His gifts. Teach me often to deny myself in my dealings with others, that I may offer to Jesus many little sacrifices.

Saint Thérèse, the Little Flower of Jesus, please

pick a rose from the heavenly garden, and send it

to me with a message of love.

I ask you to obtain for me the favors that I seek (here mention your request).

Recommend my request to Mary, Queen of

Heaven, so that she may intercede for me, with you,

before her Son, Jesus Christ.

If this favor is granted, I will love you more

and more, and be better prepared to spend eternal

happiness with you in heaven.

Saint Thérèse of the Little Flower, pray for me.

Grace and Miracle, like two winged sweet sister angels of faith have been walking my side since February ushered in. I took no notice till a moment ago when the thought pulsed my mind like a sudden heartbeat.  

I smiled a secret content when it occurred how in constant subtle ways the heavenly realm has been and is ever present around, above, below and within me: in my bleak minutes, in my breaking pains, in my darkest waking being. It draws even clearer as I sit here sensing this startling tactile reality. All my guiding angels are in attendance. 

Love oozing from little gaps between cracks, they're everywhere. There's a certain shine to my days, a sheen, a glitter, a glint and charm.

Grace and miracles...I am lifted! 

♥Fiat Lux ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥L❀VE ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥ •

Catching Light Chasing Shadows ( Lux Lucis Vita )

1-28 2014 Maybe this resonates with you. Maybe it doesn't. A moment when slices of decorous days turn sour and your light within extinguishes itself without apology.

Suddenly, your inner colorful morphs into a mottled palette overnight, a drab washed out lizard salmon of a life. That tempest within, she wakes, cocking what a diminutive dun you are.

Facing shadows - a melancholy one must battle.The past days have been so for me. What was there to do but embrace it. My adoring gratitude goes to the one who is patient and who believes and makes me laugh, until once again I am suffused with the sensation of bright - a conduit to the honest happiness around me. Tis' over. Now, I claim my emergence.

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted...

one need not be a house.

The brain has corridors

surpassing material space."

- Emily Dickinson

Something is happening to me. For weeks on end I am swept over by a sour suffocating smog of the soul. As if my spirit, once blithe and carefree, all of a sudden felt faint weary, begging for rest - that long deep dreamless rest of the ones who sleep. Scares me. 

I am not unfamiliar with my shadow. We are....acquainted.
Once a year I am besieged with an un - s.u.n.c.t.i.m.o.nious vacuum that knifes through my being. A veritable selfishness, sloth and venom of days wherein I pace my dysmorphic earth with hollowness. As if nothing exists and matters. Ghostly. A self satisfied canting of there is no mend. 

End.

I speak to it - at it - my barren shadow. 

Not with fights. Not with accusations. Not with soothing words nor with acceptance. 

Letting it be, I walk it through capturing beams and prisms as light amiably slants through branches, leaves and twigs, settling in streets, lawns and bends. Lucent.

I catch the light 

and I catch it 

and catch it 

and catch it. 

Until captured, the light becomes me,
and becomes me,
and becomes me,
and finally,

becomes me,
chasing my shadow -
away. 

Lux Lucis Vita

CATCHING LIGHT CHASING SHADOWS
( a photo journal - click on the link to view all pictures.)

My Many Many Joys ~ January's Lady Prism Living

I want the joy of simple colors, street organs, ribbons, flags, not a joy that takes my breath away and throws me into space alone where no one else can breathe with me, not the joy that comes from a lonely drunkenness. There are so many joys, but I have only known the ones that come like a miracle, touching everything with light.~ Anais Nin

A quaint quiet moment at home.

Keep track everyday the date emblazoned in yr morning.~ Jack Kerouac

Let me remember you sweet succulent January, not for the swipe of ordinary that wrenched my heart with earthly worry, but for the exuberance of your soft rising mornings, for the kindest' constant dew that misted our mortal mid-day livings, and for the gratifying minutes, seconds, hours tinted with laughter well to the embrace and luscious comfort of your evenings replete with walks under a suede sky speckled with brazen scattered starlights.

Grace and miracles, light and shadows, January was a gift of a month; a collection of days that unraveled in gentle supplication. Like the dream of sweet incoming mountain fog, the spirit of an obliging Janus wrapped me in anticipation, whispering, yes..yes, in your life it is possible to create magic, to manifest desires, dreams and intentions, and to live daily with a cleansed bright aura, if you so do wish. 

And these few chosen pics are but random manifestations of the fun  that presented themselves. What pleasure it gives for me to see them blogged artfully this way. My many many joys.

Grace And Miracles ( my two words for 2014 )

Consider starting a "Grace and Miracles" journal and write down whenever love, grace and miracles show up on your path. It happens more than you know. ~ Illuminating Souls

1:53 pm, 1, 1- 2014 

 eyes closed, I sit amidst the languid celebrating whooshing' rustle of tree leaves quiet with the preternatural afternoon silence of nature. 

I love silence. I hate babble. Silence is a way of saying : We do not have to entertain each other. We are OK as we are. Me and my trees.

2nd day of 2014 3:19 pm 

My books and such in front of me but I am not ready. In a moment, perhaps. Right now it is the breeze from outside that sways my mind..slow and threshing..it makes me think of the sea.. low winds rippling the sea of wheat...I must start I know..in a moment..meanwhile my cerebral floats free..I mentally chase butterflies. 

~ my Facebook Journal snippet 

3rd day of January 2014 - Early in the morning. "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

January mornings are orchestral! Everything is cool: Light in its softest penetrates through walls and windows as it steals through trees and leaves across pavement and grass. Life becomes velvet. Soft and comforting. Gossamer. Even the breakfast pancakes feel like cashmere. "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

And right now what's on my mind...

Let me tell you, it feels I'm taking one step into the world. A new world. Different from yesterday, from an hour ago, from a minute ago. A world where I am in my own true skin: free, brave, notorious in my passion, plucky with wisdom and audacious in endeavours. 

 Last night I was standing in the middle of my kitchen when all of a sudden, a diaphanous joy coursed through me. It wasn't a rampant faith on sparkles, but a thin satin shimmer that felt light on the skin, good, calm, reassuring. In my mind my little pink cells chattered, "this year is your year of authenticity! Go on, be flowery, be brave, dress in your poetry!" 

There is no tentativeness to this thought. 

Maybe I've come of age finally. Like a classic wine corked, hibernated and shelved for its proper year, could it be that I too am' sweet, ripe and pleasurable for the becoming moment of pouring? Could it be that finally I can relax and trust in the aged goodness of my being? It sure feels so.  

Grace and Miracles. 

This Mindful Moment smack' in the Middle of 40's!

Maybe it's the scalding hot peppermint tea, maybe it's the yellow decongestant, but thank God, I can breath again, somewhat. Suffering from allergies that's me right now; my chest feels constricted, my eyes blurred, head a block of  achy' - my back a plyboard stiff solid discomfort , ears clogged partly, and then there's my nose too..the right disobliging nostril. There are days when I literally feel that parts of me are on finicky' strike, refusing to reason with my mind, huffy belligerent as an errant pugnacious adolescent. Hah, which happens to be exactly what I'm done with - adolescents - teenagers, to be exact! 

 My 22.4 year old youngest enrolled in college, for what would be his last semester! Might I say,  this is a yelpy' "hurrah" moment for me, though in turn there's also that mommy horror rub-a- dub' fear of an absurd grim chance he would flunk a subject -  a cuckoo possibility far remote as Timbuktu' because his grades have been historically above par since shifting to Media Studies from Accounting, whew! Plus, my loves know what a classic hissy fit La Diva' Mama is capable of when her sensitivities are trifled with, hehehehe! :D 

So there, with my eldest just graduated and the youngest on his way, I patiently endure my soggy' flared sinuses, smile and  bow in exhaled gratefulness for the lot I have in this mindful, change charged moment smack in the middle of a 40's mid-life! 

Do I worry? Yes! Do I worry? Yes! Do I worry? Yes! I am the granted "Queen of Worrydom" currently, as I grind my mind (yes, I can) trying to divine a perfect future for the boys; a future where no unsound choices are made, no calculating jerks are met. If this mother may, for them I vouchsafe simply exact smooth transitions from one level of professional success to another, leveling up to unmitigated bliss of sound familial glory, until (finally) crowned philanthropic brilliance. Suave.

Survival.  Success. Significance. BUT, without the caustic arduous messy struggling stumbling crusty pain filled parts. Cosmeticized photoshopped existence (?) Quite subhuman, really. How imprudent of me to think it.  

If I could only live their lives for them, side-stepping wrong decisions, plucking ripe worthy aspirations to grant at the end of it all, the fullness of their life's true meaning..then I would. Because, right now when I gaze at them young at the cusp of beginnings, I live my life in sentimental  retrospect pin-pointing exactly my gains, salutes, strengths, victories, as well, as the thudding faults, groping blunders and downright errors I had to grapple with. Like the "Oracle" in the "Matrix" I want them to be the "One". I want to reveal the "path". What a foolhardy' fallacious aspiration, for there isn't any super power for me to give or grant. They have to make for themselves what they are and walk what road they choose to pave. Very much the way it was and is for me. 

Awhile ago, one of them asked what my "goal" in life is.  He followed it by saying his goal is to be able to help the "less fortunate"....  

My goal is what it has always been since I've decided to be a mother. To be as a   significant lighthouse...inviolable...weatherbeaten perhaps, but ever reliant in sunshine, enduring in storms, imperishable in tremor and gracefully standing in calm. I may pursue varied "interests" - but they are not goals. I only have one life on this plane. I am Lady Prism..my life purpose is iconic... I am an encompassing beam and a  forever light ( my children)  that's yours. 

I'll be watching you. 

Remembering the magic!

The Hubs

That early evening was misted in a kind of ethereal other-worldliness, the mundane hectic pace of life lived the hours before swallowed in the magic of the hour. I love this place! can I say that again? I LUV' this place!

It was a drizzly late afternoon and there was no one around save for us ( and the bartender). The quiet was peaceful, a pervasive hum that wiffs' of romance mixed with the ambiance of being caught in a parallel world of nostalgia. Had a ghostly 1928 lady and gent walked in, we wouldn't have been the least surprised or mind. My jeans felt out of place - like I should have been in a frilly dress with gloves and a hat.

To make things a notch surreal, there was no music at all....no sound to remind us that we were living and breathing the crazy existence of 2013. It felt so..homey..like I had been there before..familiar and so right. The vibe coursed through my every cell, running through my veins, energizing my marrows. The energy was so that I felt lightheaded in happiness. Make that bliss - a type of bliss gift wrapped and packaged just for me. No doubt the Universe knew how dreary I had been feeling and decided to make itself felt by offering a living dream with a the best double Margarita ever!

When I get lonely, or fretful.....whenever I feel drabby or ordinary, all I have to do is go back to this page and recall, once more, that day when the world proved itself a magic friend to me.
Not everybody can be this lucky. I am.

•ღJuly Days of Color Luv and Random Happiness!Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥¸¸. ,•ღ.

♥¸.•*”Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥¸¸. ,•ღ. ℒℴνℯ •ღ. ℒℴνℯ •ღ.♥¸.•*”Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥
Agenda -
ღ.Pray beautifully ღ.Think beautifully ღ.Work beautifully ღ.Speak beautifully ღ.Create a beautiful something
•ღ. ℒℴνℯ •It is said...
" whatsoever is noble, whatsoever is beautiful, think only of those things..."

ღ.Now Reading:
Healing Waters by Nancy Rue ( shelved meantime)
Minding Frankie by Mauve Binchy ( done!)
Iris and Ruby by Rosie Thomas ( kinda' boring so I've set it aside for something I just bought.
•ღ. ℒℴνℯ •

It is the first day of August, yay! And  THAT picture of me in the yellow brimmed hatty' was not taken July this year. More like, July last year since my hair had that red rusty tinge still. Currently, I'm sporting a tint of rainbow yellows ( shades of varying yellows and blonds due to several layers of coloring ) with inner stripes of peeping black. Try to picture that!  I'm happy with these pics though because I snapped them right after I was finally done repainting my dining table a rustic white! Artsy' mode I was in that time and these funky pics so full of vibrant colors are my testament to July! 

Fun month it was I'd say, even if there were blah' days I'd rather forget. Must dwell on the random happiness that life gifts me. Must make sure to keep myself zoned on feeling "good" say's the "Law of Attraction" - but goodness, how to, haha! And so I do the thing I do, the best way and this here is how it looks like for now!

Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot  mystery saga's are a whole load of fun, I discovered this July. After a tiring day, I'd excitedly fix things up in the evening in anticipation of a hot steamy cup of tea and a new episode to watch- for free- on YouTube! Ah, the perks of technology! :D So what's in store for August, I wonder? My plans fall on the following inspiration:

Color: I'd go for yellow, blue and pink

Word: "Embrace" "Hug" "Accept" "Encourage"

Action: Fun

There will be creating and inviting and accomplishing and laughing and friendship. The vibes are well and good!!! :D 

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Food Luv'

♥¸.•*”Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥¸¸. ,•ღ. ℒℴνℯ •ღ. ℒℴνℯ •ღ.♥¸.•*”Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥
“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”
~ Elizabeth Gilbert 

  
And my thoughts, I'm famished to say, go the way of oily succulent meaty smokey tasty food!! 

Attempting a two week everyday sanctimonious exercise and veggie' diet scheme, I found myself insanely lusting for the noodlie' poetry of a grand emperor Chinese buffet, haha! To credit myself, I wasn't vaguely thinking food  that late Sunday afternoon a couple of weeks back when  hubby suggested we dine out, hehe! "Hey, it's been a while," he tuttered. 

My sons were game for it so I was, "OK, where to?" -- Maybe just somewhere a walk away, like that little hole in'awall Japanese nook down the block, I expounded.  No, the brood preferred something farther. "If it's a drive you want then we lets go Chinese - that swanky' place where their golden chicken is smoked to dreamy delicious delusion," I suggested! 

This is how that night went! It was all stars when we set forth and had the"chicken." Then afterwards, it rained  terrifically torrential! We braved the initial soaky' dribbles and walked umbrella-less under the dank black sky. It was fabulous OK as because there was such a city crowd that night all in good cheer and the good vibes just drenched us all! 

Thank goodness, by the time the inky sky went bashing somber  we were snuggly ensconced in a comfy coffee and donut place. Reason I'm posting this all is because it's great to come back and recall the times when we were together as a family. Doesn't happen often enough anymore since the boys usually have their own thing going.

A few Days After: 
 I received a cutesome' invite in my FB inbox to join a virtual cocktail event. I figured I wouldn't have time to mix anything interesting so I went along with a plain bottle of "Strawberyy Hill Boones Farm " ladies drink.Just a low end wine cooler, I know, but it was fun virtually toasting ladies half way around the world!
 Then, last Father's Day hubby wanted something a bit Middle Eastern. He searched online for a nearby place we most likely haven't tried and succeeded  finding us the perfect restaurant. So we went for a drive and checked out the place. It was a cozy dig with low lights and just the right ambiance.

So we had an order of hummus ( as usual when we're in a place like this), chapatti ( I like that it was so warm and soft when served), chicken biryani and a plate of beef curry. Oh, and yes, the lamb kebabs, of course.  Afterwards' we had coffee and a slice of cake between us and my eldest son. The youngest opted to stay home. 

Last night wasn't exactly date night but once again, the man wanted to go out for dinner. Said he wanted to do a bit of celebrating for successfully conducting a rigorous training for an well esteemed client. He put in so much work and preparation for that event and now that it was done, he wanted to unwind. Unwind means food. So he asked me what I wanted to have and I had in mind Tony Roma's. But when we got to the place and I scanned the menu, for one reason or another it didn't look that appealing so we went, once again, for spicy Mediterranean food!

It's been a couple ov' weeks laced with food luv' amidst work and stressing. I haven't gone back to my exercising thing so I'll probably gain back the weight I put off - and then some, haha! Lots in my mind right now and really, I'm looking forward to a quiet Friday night. I'll probably fix up a simple, and I mean, simple  dinner for my son - and for me.

The music that goes along with this post.

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