My Struggle -> Pose

“The quality of your life is dependent upon the quality of the life of your cells. If the bloodstream is filled with waste products, the resulting environment does not promote a strong, vibrant, healthy cell life-or biochemistry capable of creating a balanced emotional life for an individual.” ~ Tony Robbins

Struggle pose I call it; to sit straight on the floor with the back  arched, your arms reaching out in differing stretching angles that require your spine to fully engage with the movements. This was the challenge early morning yoga class.

I get what's it's all about - support and confidence that  your spine will hold you up limber straight, when asked, and flow gracefully supine with the movements. Hah, none of that for me, I'm afraid. Surprise! Surprise!

My whole torso was in a state of stiff, bent puzzlement - like gurl' what the eck' do you want me to do and why, what for, do I really have to?!?  I felt a wave of  complaint as my backbone, new to the experience, simply  couldn't perfect the 'look'. It had a mind of its own opting to bend comfortably, resisting the ensuing straightening, lengthening experience - unsure, questioning, trying, failing, then trying again, and somehow managing to get through the whole experience with a tad of pride that the newness of something, a type of change was hurdled.

For the first time in my life, I'm treating my  body as I would a child - with  the gentleness,  kindness and  firm guided discipline of a responsible parent. Every sweat is  an enlightening joy of  nourishing and creating aliveness. Every movement is an experience,  an adventure that unlocks not only  hidden strength but colorful positive realizations as the process unfolds. 

How wonderful too, to be surrounded by people who  believe that the body gets better, fitter and even stronger as one age,s as long as you have consistent faith  coupled with motivated action to treat yourself with respect and reverence. I affirm that health and vibrancy is mine - because where focus goes, energy flows

How To Make a Smashing Week

Roselle Quin photo:
"Tea by the Pool"

Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays. 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Felicitations to a new week! 

My best brightest self welcome's Monday with a favorable juicy feel for the positive. Major compelling realizations have popped and  shape shifted in my mind. I am soaked in plans and dreams and decisions. The heavens will be my guide, my inspiration, my connection. Yes, no  mortal muse can entice me.  My plans are as a big and venturous as never before!

There is work to do, but make no mistake dear me, there is no room for drab or dreary. Labor will be intensive but suffused with relish and recreation. One must be in love with one's work. One must be in love with one's days - the minutes, hours and seconds not left to dawdle by itself - there is harm in that. 

How does one make a smashing week? 

Specially after having dealth with the naughtiness of  past weeks gone? Why,  by blessing the what-not's of  troubles a - visiting and thanking them all for lessons learned, stamina built and new hopes aroused. If it were not for the challenges of the past weeks, I wouldn't have had this vision for a future I desire to experience. I can almost feel it. I am almost there. 

Much to scribble, even more to scrawl and I am compelled to begin. This particular rumination, I bring to conclusion with the burning thought that I should write it upon my heart that each day is the best day of the year. 

Alive. Daring. Brave.

Do visit: Roselle Quin's Fine Poetry

Bodhiccita Lady ~ Mindful Realizations To a Path of Bliss

Roselle Quin

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Bodhicitta, mindful & ripe with the juiciness of awakened existence, is a semantic energy I hooked from a Buddhist book my husband recently gifted me. The concept of going through life's motions in meditated movements dedicated to the conscience of lifting every act holy for the good of "one, some and all" is very precise in its Christian notion of renunciation... of "doing unto others" and offering unto God all the dutiful, mundane tasks that at times even inwardly cause suffering. So injected I am with this crystalline intention, that a seizure of illumination zipped through my spinal consciousness - A life of Dharma - spiritual purposefulness for the whole of the Sangha - the community.

Bodhicitta is pineapple for the soul,  spiritual saccharine that oxidizes our inner being with scentsy wisdom pulps, venturing us to live in this earthly plane on higher ground! All actions, however simple, however ordinary, however piddling becomes a stepping stone to N-I-R-V-A-N-A if consummated through  gratitude and generosity. The whole of man's existence becomes suffused with majesty & regal with meaning -- the meaning one endows by the charity one  devotes to all sentient beings.

For what is heaven, but the state of being free, truly free from ignorance and loathing! Hate is vulgarity of living, while Heaven is to exist in uncomplicated rapture - easy joy - metta.  "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy,"  Romans 14:17 ~  To be in bliss is to live sane, and to be joyful is to ascend as a supreme being walking in the divine ground of existence ( streets of gold), released from the bondage of an odious ego. To be enlightened is to be a child of God. Venerable.

Our destiny is not far yonder a mythical physical material hope in an afterlife of moneyed riches, but the attainment of a present  imperturbable stillness of mind after the hell fires of intemperate desire, aversion, delusion have been extinguished.

I have much to work on to be what I want but inspiration has spoken.

This quote inspires me:

We need to transform our mind, to rid it of ignorance, hatred and attachment. Transforming our mind means that even if we are in a very difficult situation or place, as long as our mind is happy, everything will be fine.~ Namdrol Rinpoche

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And my life? Well,  let me see...I have no excuses! None at all! 

I have to live my life from the abyss of my crystal soul and not chipper away the bright bits of my spirit for no account at all but procrastination + fear. Hell of a combination, hah! My Lady Prism me has morphed into a tangle of ta' - do's and must- do's and have - ta'- do's and have - ya' - done - it, and not yet done, and be done with it and do more today, dammit!  A ballistic tornado days spent desperately tidying rogue minutes and batty seconds while keeping groggy' monkeys of distraction and anxiety at bay till I succumb to impatience, frustration and a tear of vexation. 

Too much to do, there just isn't time to create, to paint, to go to that pottery class, to take the beaded workshop, to meditate, to study alchemy, to wish, to dream, to spew magic, to nuke a spell.
                                                                I am a  litany of excuses.  This is my tale. Woe is me! 

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Not very Disney, noh? I mean, my tale. Nothing very fairy about it. But I'm  done with all the this shindig drama I've heaped on myself and taking my Honey Doo's advice to --> chuck it. Stop hogging'  everything and get on with what you want, he always would remind me. 

There's always the "do wants" for me, I figure, maybe before I unfold the new longings of my soul,  I need to specify what exactly --> I don't want.

I DON'T WANT

1. I don't want to be busy picking up other people's mess, whoever they are. 

2. I don't want to feed other people's monkeys.

3. I don't want to pet other people's monsters of complaints, expectations and distractions.

4. I don't want fear of what other's may say or how I'm viewed or perceived define me.

5. I don't want to starve my creative soul. No. 

I WILL NOT BE DISTRACTED BY NOISE, CHATTER AND SETBACK. I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND IT'S ALL MINE. 

WHAT I DO WANT

I want to --> not be shy.  I want to --> not be tepid, lukewarm, unsure, awkward. 

 I want to --> not see cracks, limits and impossibilities. I want to --> not be swayed towards accepting baggage heaped on me. I want to enjoy - period.  I want to accept my radiance and take relative good care of myself without trepidation or vanity. I want wisdom. I want to nurture and feed my talent. I want to give expression to my inner spirit. I want to be gallant towards my body respectful of my feelings. 

And why do I want all these? 
Heck, I want it all because my greatest wanting is to GIVE! 

And so that's that..and this is this..and I thank the Divine for these spanks of wisdom plunked in my cerebral. A bit of shaking and sweet thumping from heaven's nirvanic realm, reminding me to take charge, get my Bodhi selfie groove in loop, and walk my bliss. Nothing less. 

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Those who haven’t yet given birth to precious Bodhicitta,

May they give birth,

Those who have given birth,

May their Bodhicitta not lessen

but increase further and further.

~ His Holiness Gyalwang Drukgpa

Chimes, Charms, Enchantment

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, 

and, it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.”

~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 

These photos are so February 2014!
 They've been lounging in my archive, waiting...waiting ever so patiently for me to write something and launch the post. Alas, days went by, and months, then life morphed into a maze of this and that, which rendered this blog buried in publish neglect. sad.

The Hubby and Me - enjoying our pose! 

Looking at these pics, you'd think I was the queen of high spirits, hah! 

Quite frankly, yes and even more bluntly, no! The prime truth of the matter is, these photos represent ooooh, snarky sobby' trying days rife with challenges and changes and not knowing what the future holds, what the next step would be, what to, where to, whatever! 

Life was a cliffhanger...SMILE! 

But the Divine was at work ( uuh' yah! ) and threw us an unmistakable thump to dress up swank and parteh', inspite of! Yes, inspite of sullied circumstances having been acquainted with folks less than honorable with their dealings. 

Ah, one must dig the grandest measure of  good out of a decrepit situation, wisen up like the evening owl, and brave forth like the most majestic of eagles ( drama!). 

Why the heck pout and gripe when all things are but temporal, even the muddled. These are the good old' days being ushered in! Welcome it! 

Cliffhouse, Tagaytay, Philippines

My youngest son with me.

And so we did!  In style! 

I donned my creamy favorite vintage dress ( + my grand brown hat too, let's not forget!), genuinely celebratory and thankful for the beautiful scenery, the wonderful people, and the glorious food!  

It was a sparkling time and I was touched by a serene spirit whispering, it was Valentine's Day, things would be OK. 

My eldest son.

That was way back February, cupid's shinning star moment of love. weddings, chimes, charms and enchantments that glistened the succeeding months of working situations with a smidgen of luck linked into one another, until here I am and here we are, in the future I was merely trying to picture back then! 

So let me see, what's there to learn:

1. Be calm. Inspite of trying times. Be calm. Calm is insight. Calm is wisdom. 

2. Present your best. Your best brings about solutions.

3. Enjoy. Even in the middle of muddles, life gives permission to laugh and be merry. It is essential to sanity.

"There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow, you have to make your own way.To know where you're going is only a part of it.You need to know where you've been, too.And if you get lost, don't worry.The people who love you will find you. Count on it."  ~ Quotebites

Manna Bakery and Cafe ~ My Quick Respite

You have no idea, but I was spun strangled in a web of self-made frenzy the past weekend. My bad!

The HUBBY came down with a bone chilling fever that whacked his aching tired body to - the - sole and plastered him poorly in bed. I was vamooshed! Why, goodness, the man rarely ever gets sick, except for the allergies which would sneeze him out every now and then. I'm used to that. He's used to that. The boys have that as well.

Ah, but, other than that, he has the fit and form and heart of an athlete, according to his doc a couple of years back during his yearly executive check- up.. He's mighty proud of this, um, - medically certified - compliment and wears it like a gold star pinned on the lapel of his right psyche.

Day 1 to day 3 was quite toxic with trips to the ER and tests and consultations and tests again ( gad!). It was surreal  for me to have this fitness buff who'd bug me day and out about my - regimen - (hah!), looking buggered down, wan and pithy pale.

"Hey, relax, even Superman gets sick, y' know", he cracked, in a bid to snuff off my funk,  as I stood looking half wit worried down on him at the emergency room bed, feeding him thin wafers of grainy "Skyflakes" biscuit.

The doc pronounced a most likely viral infection, but the danger of Dengue fever couldn't be ruled out ( omg moment!)!  Hence, the meds and daily trip back to hospital for pricks and whatnot' consultations, which vexed him somewhat on the 3rd day of this roundabout', and further to the point wherein he scathingly reviled the bloodsucking routine. 

 Five days later to last night, his platelet count rose to the required healthy level. Thank  gawd!! What a relief for frazzled me. He was able to return to the office today in more or less his usual self.

Yah, well we know something good always comes forth from unexpected gales. Sailing midway through my inner hysteria, I found myself drifted off to a quaint little true bright happiness cafe. I'd say t'was my grace and miracles angels of life taking pity on hapless me.

I entered this little piece of peace and strayed myself half in trance on a corner taking in the  luscious sight of warm brown buns, deftly coiled breads, unmistakable old-fashioned sugar butter cookies - the stuff of my youth - and wicker trays of creamy muffins dotted syrupy red or blueberry-ish blue, and some cheesy too! 

I was swept into a releasing Hallelujah moment and knew then with a ping of exaltation that everything would be OK. Why wouldn't it be, when fate had just ushered me into the sanctum of the sweet Church of Muffins!! 

I - is - sAvEd!! :D

This here's my corner

--> See my bag? Witness the moment I went snappy with my pink partner walking solemnly here and there pondering the merit between muffins. It's no joke to pick one over the other when your mind is suffering from a case of short circuit.

Ditched the idea of muffins, though my eyes were whirled glue on the possibility. Eventually, after sensing the bated breath of the server in front of me, I settled for an exotic sounding "Banhi sandwich". No clue what that was but it sure sounded kinda' hippy, and the chef lady wore a striking fancy uniform which somewhat gave an imposing whiff of credence to whatever she'd make it out to be

Oh, and it was so pretty! All carrots on top, with spikes of radish and greens and orange bits of grilled chicken, haha! It was quite a creative feast ! And yes, it tasted as refreshing and tasty as it looked. Coupled with my rose vanilla tea, it was a bit of  a vacation for my sense. I even had the indulgence to read a chapter while slowly savouring my treat. 

So things are fine and better, with the usual drafty flow of things to do; things that seem to hunt you down and snap at your heels whimpering fix me! fix me! fix me! And so I go for it, all these business that deals with life, knowing that when things get a bit spidery tangled in my thoughts, I have the good propensity of finding quirky snuggly muffin places to center and rebalance and sniff sniff sniff the cinnamon-y scents that make this soul of mine come alive. 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ The Angels of April Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, but must be felt with the heart.” ~Helen Keller

Let me tell YOU of the sweet whisperings of April days where quiet within all of a sudden I hear the faint rush of silken angel wings fly me by, whoosh! They came and come often still and sit on my shoulders, or teeter at the edge of my mind, or sometimes stand amused jolly in my corner of colors. 

I know they are there, here - when I feel laughter coming in- when I hear the church bells chiming - when I smell flowers from nowhere- the unprovoked smile of  a random someone...the dulcet chirp of green birdie balancing on my gate. Even smack right inside this big bulk of vanilla gratitude I carry right now, oh yes, they be here, the April angels. 

They keep watch all moments to catch tears, catch fears, catch hate, catch doubt, catch loneliness and spite-ness and every other drab grub that falls off my mortal shell, shedding like dead skin cells until I am scrubbed to glowing. 

We beings earthbound barter and trade potions for the promise of pretty, youth and longevity - but angelics come to soothe soured soul's withered lines, deepened scars, and calloused hearts with a swipe from The Balm of Gilead whose restoration plummets deep into dermis abyss, and we are whole again - born to new. This is what happens. This is what's true. 

So in my good, in my bad, in my gain and in my pain, in my breath and in -within - the - pockets - of - air that cut between the gaps of my entire somatic being, they flutter - they exist - they be. 

Breathing me faith, the angels of April, resurrect me, again. And life has color.

Morning chit - chat!

Glory be, you're luminous! Just look at you glow! :D

Friday morning, waltzing the usual route I spied pansy flower friends waving at me, haha! The pretties were blushing in pinkness inviting yours truly to "come, come, come nearer dearest you and spend a tick - tack - two with us!"

They had much to tell, believe you me' and oh' the secrets they divulged:

: the girl who bruised her knee,
: the bird who clipped a wing - what tragedy,
: the cat who chased a mother - cat,
: the bewildered singing cricket,
: an amorous bat.

And who are you, what's up to do, their fluttery petals demured.

Before I could reply, I kinda' clammed up shy and humbly bid their photos taken.

Aw, yes, yes, yes, a chorus of chattery bloomy excited! By height, they tip - toed high and posed their pistil smiles gregarious. Smitten, pink camera flashed once, twice, thrice - fancy portraiture nature selfies.

What giggly' celebration after!
"Wild wizardy, that was awesome!" said the littlelest astonished pinky'...

Later I'd say, recalling the day,  "ah, yes, the visit was - b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l!"
Charms, chimes and enchantment, flowers talk, um' yup they do!
I hope you witness such magic too!

St. Therese ~ A February Devotion

Dear Little Flower, make all things lead me to heaven and God, Whether I look at the sun, the moon, the stars and the vast expanse in which they float, or whether I look at the flowers of the field, the trees of the forest, the beauties of the earth so full of color and so glorious, may they speak to me of the love and power of God; may they all sing His praises in my ear. Like you may I daily love Him more and more in return for His gifts. Teach me often to deny myself in my dealings with others, that I may offer to Jesus many little sacrifices.

Saint Thérèse, the Little Flower of Jesus, please

pick a rose from the heavenly garden, and send it

to me with a message of love.

I ask you to obtain for me the favors that I seek (here mention your request).

Recommend my request to Mary, Queen of

Heaven, so that she may intercede for me, with you,

before her Son, Jesus Christ.

If this favor is granted, I will love you more

and more, and be better prepared to spend eternal

happiness with you in heaven.

Saint Thérèse of the Little Flower, pray for me.

Grace and Miracle, like two winged sweet sister angels of faith have been walking my side since February ushered in. I took no notice till a moment ago when the thought pulsed my mind like a sudden heartbeat.  

I smiled a secret content when it occurred how in constant subtle ways the heavenly realm has been and is ever present around, above, below and within me: in my bleak minutes, in my breaking pains, in my darkest waking being. It draws even clearer as I sit here sensing this startling tactile reality. All my guiding angels are in attendance. 

Love oozing from little gaps between cracks, they're everywhere. There's a certain shine to my days, a sheen, a glitter, a glint and charm.

Grace and miracles...I am lifted! 

♥Fiat Lux ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥L❀VE ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥ •

Catching Light Chasing Shadows ( Lux Lucis Vita )

1-28 2014 Maybe this resonates with you. Maybe it doesn't. A moment when slices of decorous days turn sour and your light within extinguishes itself without apology.

Suddenly, your inner colorful morphs into a mottled palette overnight, a drab washed out lizard salmon of a life. That tempest within, she wakes, cocking what a diminutive dun you are.

Facing shadows - a melancholy one must battle.The past days have been so for me. What was there to do but embrace it. My adoring gratitude goes to the one who is patient and who believes and makes me laugh, until once again I am suffused with the sensation of bright - a conduit to the honest happiness around me. Tis' over. Now, I claim my emergence.

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted...

one need not be a house.

The brain has corridors

surpassing material space."

- Emily Dickinson

Something is happening to me. For weeks on end I am swept over by a sour suffocating smog of the soul. As if my spirit, once blithe and carefree, all of a sudden felt faint weary, begging for rest - that long deep dreamless rest of the ones who sleep. Scares me. 

I am not unfamiliar with my shadow. We are....acquainted.
Once a year I am besieged with an un - s.u.n.c.t.i.m.o.nious vacuum that knifes through my being. A veritable selfishness, sloth and venom of days wherein I pace my dysmorphic earth with hollowness. As if nothing exists and matters. Ghostly. A self satisfied canting of there is no mend. 

End.

I speak to it - at it - my barren shadow. 

Not with fights. Not with accusations. Not with soothing words nor with acceptance. 

Letting it be, I walk it through capturing beams and prisms as light amiably slants through branches, leaves and twigs, settling in streets, lawns and bends. Lucent.

I catch the light 

and I catch it 

and catch it 

and catch it. 

Until captured, the light becomes me,
and becomes me,
and becomes me,
and finally,

becomes me,
chasing my shadow -
away. 

Lux Lucis Vita

CATCHING LIGHT CHASING SHADOWS
( a photo journal - click on the link to view all pictures.)

My Many Many Joys ~ January's Lady Prism Living

I want the joy of simple colors, street organs, ribbons, flags, not a joy that takes my breath away and throws me into space alone where no one else can breathe with me, not the joy that comes from a lonely drunkenness. There are so many joys, but I have only known the ones that come like a miracle, touching everything with light.~ Anais Nin

A quaint quiet moment at home.

Keep track everyday the date emblazoned in yr morning.~ Jack Kerouac

Let me remember you sweet succulent January, not for the swipe of ordinary that wrenched my heart with earthly worry, but for the exuberance of your soft rising mornings, for the kindest' constant dew that misted our mortal mid-day livings, and for the gratifying minutes, seconds, hours tinted with laughter well to the embrace and luscious comfort of your evenings replete with walks under a suede sky speckled with brazen scattered starlights.

Grace and miracles, light and shadows, January was a gift of a month; a collection of days that unraveled in gentle supplication. Like the dream of sweet incoming mountain fog, the spirit of an obliging Janus wrapped me in anticipation, whispering, yes..yes, in your life it is possible to create magic, to manifest desires, dreams and intentions, and to live daily with a cleansed bright aura, if you so do wish. 

And these few chosen pics are but random manifestations of the fun  that presented themselves. What pleasure it gives for me to see them blogged artfully this way. My many many joys.