Cherished

By: Trofimov Oleg

 ♥´¯`•.¸¸.• ♥ •´¯`•.¸¸.♥

What can I do with my happiness?

How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it?

i want to kneel as it falls over me like rain,

gather it up like lace and silk, And press it over myself again."   

         ~ Anais Nin

"Why do you  always smell sweet?"
He whispered -- his face slightly buried in my hair, our {tender} moment suspended - before he had to reluctantly pull away, walk to the door and lend himself to the day's hustle. It wasn't so much a question. It was a statement bestowed as an answer to itself.

A time ago, I won't bother to discern the exactness of hour, but it was when the light of the day drew golden shadows on leaves merry making to the mellow bliss of a contented February breeze, he took my hand and pressed it consciously on his lips. He let's go, gazes at it, smiles and tells me my fingers are perfect candles...it pleases him.

My days are pearls and lace and roses. How could I have forgotten, neglected, that we weave the love we adorn. Love presses itself over and over to my person. Enough of incessant snuffles,for life calls that I employ myself to happiness.

I sit here, contemplating,
how utterly grateful I am
to be eminently,
cherished.


The Lady Prism

About The Painting:

Trofimov Oleg has the most seductive paintings, truly! His masterpieces are undoubtedly gateways to visual paradise. There are several pieces of his which speak to me the most. and I do intend to share  those in my page. His beautiful paintings can be found here: OLEG TROFIMOV

No Misgivings

Every day includes much more non-being than being. This is always so. One walks, eats, sees things, deals with what has to be done; the broken vacuum cleaner; ordering dinner; washing; cooking dinner. When it is a bad day the proportion of non-being is much larger."

- Virginia Woolf

I posses the Woolf dilemma: An incessant fear of bleeding on the page. Part reason why I've much refrained from pouring and writing my heart out last year. Realizing how bereft my space had become, an acrid twinge of hurt pinged from my insides. Not writing is akin to dishonesty - close to disowning that soft part of myself that has always been.

However, discomfort reigned. This I admit. What would those who know me say of the me that trifles with semantics? A disconcerting thought until I read what Dani Shapiro had to reveal: 

It is only in the silence that our voice emerges. It is only in movement of the hand across the page, one word following the next, in the crafting of sentence that we know ourselves. We can talk ourselves blue in the face, and we may be telling a certain kind of truth, but it is not the deepest truth, not the truth of our private heart. 

This afternoon, late in the day there is that silence. So what can I say? That my under eyes have soft worry lines, that my chest still hurts from a prolonged seasonal bout with sinus, that my spirit still feels heavy from the shock of having my eldest son figure in an accident, that I think of myself wishing I could get an upgrade chip version of me.There.


Maybe a little rant can do good for the soul. Good times have rolled. No remiss in acknowledging that. My thoughts have always gone the course of the positive.But just this once, perhaps, there can be no misgiving in penning the bog that weighs me in. 

renascentia

*•ʚįɞ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥

Oh, my nippy self, 

forget not the embrace of January mornings and the sweet balm of it that saw you through the birthing of this new year. Renascentia is your word. How elegant it reads. It rolls in the tongue, - silk creamy caramel golden taste of honey. - Renascentia. Re-birth! But birth has pains and push and groans and sweat and tears and gnashing at intrepid times that punish for a second. And yes, there is that lashing slew of  inner vexation. 

Slither from guilt. No one is after you. Bedeck your soul with jewels of understanding. Learn from the years, heave, close your eyes and release the breath for you - a woman - know the workings of it that  bring forth life. Renascentia. The self that comforts me.

It is the last day of January. 
*•ʚįɞ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥

2012 Aha Moment!

2011 I went absolutely retro blog - shy! Can you believe that?

Like, whoa, what was up with me, then? WHY? Where was I?
It was a kind year, a mild "I care for you" kinda' feel for 12 months, rough in the edges at times, but generally the days were soothing. I could've at least recorded a sprinkle of the best times, but heck, no - I went, a-hiding. Did jot down several meager meanderings; however, the JoY, the jingle sparkle of what mattered most was left dangling vague. Alas, no record ov' it.

Frankly, no sweeping answer, ( to myself as I'm self- analyzing) except that it was a year made for burrowing inside my shell....no revelations, no shout-outs, no blissful writing and cybie connecting.

Which isn't to say that life was banal. It was rich to see Hliza, long time sweet blog friend! Yup, Got to see and hug her in person! The lady is beautiful! How's about that for some magic, eh? I reconnected with college friend, Lei. Ah, 2011 was the year I did the dirty salsa, (dig that) thanks to this lady, hahaha! We've kept up the meets since then which is a revelation!

Not to forget I met some old high school lady friends haven't seen in 2 decades too! Then of course there's those fantastic ladies at FB I exchange cute-somes with! Aiiind...my super BFF GalPals, oh yes, been a long stretch since we last got together but December I got to shoot margaritas with the hotties, haha! yah!

What say whoosh, 2011 was a year of new and old friends! And BOOKS!! And wine!! And food!! And hanging out with my boys around much more of the time! Had a lot of swing going on, just too ugh' shucks I didn't write them down in  this space.

But nevermind...2012 is a pulp pf vitality! Blog is back and I am here to write and ponder and write with inspiration! Plus, my so many pictures just a- hiding here in my storage bin - aha' time to spill and splash em' all out! I do this thing that I do because I love life and recording the simplest pleasure and blessing confronts me with so much to be grateful for.

This space complements my written gratitude journal.  When I read back, a month or two or three or a year even, and find what transpired what when, I find meaning after meaning and learning after learning and purpose after purpose for why I am who I am -where I am a certain point in time.
It all matters.

With this said, I'm back and vibrant than  EVER!!
Larger than life! :D

Because My Life is My Art

November Morning Affirmation:
As written in my Facebook page, Wednesday, 10:12 am.

"May life bid that I leave each space I enter be it corner space, room space, the heart space of a family, friend or stranger I encounter, even the gap between spaces, a little more beautiful, because I was in it. -- I am surrounded by beauty. I see beauty everyday. I create beauty everyday. Deeply, my life is my art."

Boldly it was written. Meant to bolster my inner self to fixate on nothing but devoted value, I closed my eyes and inhaled one affirming breath. Every pore rejoiced in the conviction. And to this very click on my laptop, it remains the prayer

Moments cruise by and NOT everything I do aligns itself to the beauty I speak of. -- Maddening.-- Aftermath of faults weigh me in. A twitch of my mouth, a shake of my head betrays the insolence of my actions. Don't I even possess the prudence to keep back a sarcastic remark when irked? This and other pebble stone grievousness monkey in my mind.

IiI

"La Demoiselle de Magasin"
James Tissot

Pages in hurried counsel sweep through my frame: Art writings and biographies pass by my monitor, inundating me with elegant lessons about the living of those who seemed to have mastered life. Phantoms of genius unfurling as mists in my mind clamor;

"No, no, realize,  beauty is a juxtaposition - chaos and calm, delight and despair, confusion and order!Reality is pretty."

That my life and everything I throw helter - skelter into the canvass of it - the light and dark is a masterpiece that will not be ignored - the covered shadows giving depth to hallow points in order to focus the bright. Welcome to your life, they say. It is what it is and - it is beautiful. I believe so.

The life long learner sat across a teacher again.
Because, she called on beauty, it answered her plea.
My life, truly, is my art.

My Poetry Page:

An Evening to Remember

♥ •ღ.•*Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ*• ♥ •ღ.•*Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ*• 

This is to simply remember October 27, 2011. I was just really really happy. Had I stayed where I was and declined the offer, then I wouldn't have had this memory to keep. Must be the moon, must be the places, must be the vibrant night people, must be the lights, most definitely the company - the vibes was just perfect, the conversation so alive. It was a carefree feeling that everything for the moment, the world I'm in, the world of those who surround me, the world of the stranger a table behind, the world of continents overseas, and all the worlds of our worlds at peace. I hope to keep the spirit of this everyday. 
And one more thing to remember...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

~ Marrianne Williamson ( A Return to Love)  

Raising My Vibration: Living My Light

 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ""Trust my instinct. Shun the phony. Stay clear of pity parties. Respect my soul: Never allow myself to get sucked into someone's cycle of doom and drama - no matter  how sympathetic I may be. Never be lured to peek into someone's world of hate. Bad vibes rub in. Turn down the invite. Never compromise my peace of mind. LIVE MY LIGHT! Protect my truth: Never apologize for having high standards." 

October is deep. A pull. A push.
A swirl. A dragging. A lifting.
A questioning.
A finding.

All that and more, this capricious month of highs and lows present itself to be both hail and breeze, iron and cotton, daring me to stroll out and challenge the depths of my beliefs, the brawn of my convictions, the maxim of my person. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ"

My steps come one after another in an unsure swag, sometimes a huff, always one foot poised on a bedrock of learning, while the other teeters and balances uncertain. But I'll get there. Oh; I'll get there. Haven't I questioned enough? And doesn't the cosmos  throw me answers, more often when I am caught unawares? Why, heavens, in the sunrise as I walked around the bend the zinnias cheered to me -

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ "Look at us! Look at us! We are made up of layers, cells, constellations, sister! Haven't you heard we are? And then there is YOU, who are made of the same stuff too! 

Reverie!
How stunning when wild wild things call to me.
invisible to the eye, essential to the soul,
an aisle of talking petals - Now I understand, Exupery! 
In its time, He makes all things beautiful, in its time.

Thus speak I do, about this wisdom trail I tread,
alongside posies - that light my path. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ"

The Lady Prism 

"Details of a September Midweek"

"I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected!" ~ Thomas Merton

"Today, set me as the apple of the eye....

bloom within my sacred inspiration....

fortitude and strength, be my happy angels...

sister of understanding keep me company...

calm be my walkway..

and you, wisdom, are the fervent muse

doth hold my hand as would a faithful friend."

~ "Sophia Prayers" ~ By: The Lady Prism

midweek blessings. starting fresh. sweet tea.  magic feelings. writing. art. friends. something good (on the stove). order. pink juice. quiet walks. exercise. scribbles. poetry. conversations. color. inspiration. hugging someone. greeting sunshine. watching sunset. pasta. crafting dreams. lipstick. books. visual boarding. affirmations. positive living. vitamins. no complaints. patience. zen moments. abundance. soothing music. understanding. chocolate. te deum. love.

~ "Details of a September Midweek"
~ By: The Lady Prism