renascentia

*•ʚįɞ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥

Oh, my nippy self, 

forget not the embrace of January mornings and the sweet balm of it that saw you through the birthing of this new year. Renascentia is your word. How elegant it reads. It rolls in the tongue, - silk creamy caramel golden taste of honey. - Renascentia. Re-birth! But birth has pains and push and groans and sweat and tears and gnashing at intrepid times that punish for a second. And yes, there is that lashing slew of  inner vexation. 

Slither from guilt. No one is after you. Bedeck your soul with jewels of understanding. Learn from the years, heave, close your eyes and release the breath for you - a woman - know the workings of it that  bring forth life. Renascentia. The self that comforts me.

It is the last day of January. 
*•ʚįɞ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥

2012 Aha Moment!

2011 I went absolutely retro blog - shy! Can you believe that?

Like, whoa, what was up with me, then? WHY? Where was I?
It was a kind year, a mild "I care for you" kinda' feel for 12 months, rough in the edges at times, but generally the days were soothing. I could've at least recorded a sprinkle of the best times, but heck, no - I went, a-hiding. Did jot down several meager meanderings; however, the JoY, the jingle sparkle of what mattered most was left dangling vague. Alas, no record ov' it.

Frankly, no sweeping answer, ( to myself as I'm self- analyzing) except that it was a year made for burrowing inside my shell....no revelations, no shout-outs, no blissful writing and cybie connecting.

Which isn't to say that life was banal. It was rich to see Hliza, long time sweet blog friend! Yup, Got to see and hug her in person! The lady is beautiful! How's about that for some magic, eh? I reconnected with college friend, Lei. Ah, 2011 was the year I did the dirty salsa, (dig that) thanks to this lady, hahaha! We've kept up the meets since then which is a revelation!

Not to forget I met some old high school lady friends haven't seen in 2 decades too! Then of course there's those fantastic ladies at FB I exchange cute-somes with! Aiiind...my super BFF GalPals, oh yes, been a long stretch since we last got together but December I got to shoot margaritas with the hotties, haha! yah!

What say whoosh, 2011 was a year of new and old friends! And BOOKS!! And wine!! And food!! And hanging out with my boys around much more of the time! Had a lot of swing going on, just too ugh' shucks I didn't write them down in  this space.

But nevermind...2012 is a pulp pf vitality! Blog is back and I am here to write and ponder and write with inspiration! Plus, my so many pictures just a- hiding here in my storage bin - aha' time to spill and splash em' all out! I do this thing that I do because I love life and recording the simplest pleasure and blessing confronts me with so much to be grateful for.

This space complements my written gratitude journal.  When I read back, a month or two or three or a year even, and find what transpired what when, I find meaning after meaning and learning after learning and purpose after purpose for why I am who I am -where I am a certain point in time.
It all matters.

With this said, I'm back and vibrant than  EVER!!
Larger than life! :D

Because My Life is My Art

November Morning Affirmation:
As written in my Facebook page, Wednesday, 10:12 am.

"May life bid that I leave each space I enter be it corner space, room space, the heart space of a family, friend or stranger I encounter, even the gap between spaces, a little more beautiful, because I was in it. -- I am surrounded by beauty. I see beauty everyday. I create beauty everyday. Deeply, my life is my art."

Boldly it was written. Meant to bolster my inner self to fixate on nothing but devoted value, I closed my eyes and inhaled one affirming breath. Every pore rejoiced in the conviction. And to this very click on my laptop, it remains the prayer

Moments cruise by and NOT everything I do aligns itself to the beauty I speak of. -- Maddening.-- Aftermath of faults weigh me in. A twitch of my mouth, a shake of my head betrays the insolence of my actions. Don't I even possess the prudence to keep back a sarcastic remark when irked? This and other pebble stone grievousness monkey in my mind.

IiI

"La Demoiselle de Magasin"
James Tissot

Pages in hurried counsel sweep through my frame: Art writings and biographies pass by my monitor, inundating me with elegant lessons about the living of those who seemed to have mastered life. Phantoms of genius unfurling as mists in my mind clamor;

"No, no, realize,  beauty is a juxtaposition - chaos and calm, delight and despair, confusion and order!Reality is pretty."

That my life and everything I throw helter - skelter into the canvass of it - the light and dark is a masterpiece that will not be ignored - the covered shadows giving depth to hallow points in order to focus the bright. Welcome to your life, they say. It is what it is and - it is beautiful. I believe so.

The life long learner sat across a teacher again.
Because, she called on beauty, it answered her plea.
My life, truly, is my art.

My Poetry Page:

An Evening to Remember

♥ •ღ.•*Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ*• ♥ •ღ.•*Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ*• 

This is to simply remember October 27, 2011. I was just really really happy. Had I stayed where I was and declined the offer, then I wouldn't have had this memory to keep. Must be the moon, must be the places, must be the vibrant night people, must be the lights, most definitely the company - the vibes was just perfect, the conversation so alive. It was a carefree feeling that everything for the moment, the world I'm in, the world of those who surround me, the world of the stranger a table behind, the world of continents overseas, and all the worlds of our worlds at peace. I hope to keep the spirit of this everyday. 
And one more thing to remember...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

~ Marrianne Williamson ( A Return to Love)  

Raising My Vibration: Living My Light

 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ""Trust my instinct. Shun the phony. Stay clear of pity parties. Respect my soul: Never allow myself to get sucked into someone's cycle of doom and drama - no matter  how sympathetic I may be. Never be lured to peek into someone's world of hate. Bad vibes rub in. Turn down the invite. Never compromise my peace of mind. LIVE MY LIGHT! Protect my truth: Never apologize for having high standards." 

October is deep. A pull. A push.
A swirl. A dragging. A lifting.
A questioning.
A finding.

All that and more, this capricious month of highs and lows present itself to be both hail and breeze, iron and cotton, daring me to stroll out and challenge the depths of my beliefs, the brawn of my convictions, the maxim of my person. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ"

My steps come one after another in an unsure swag, sometimes a huff, always one foot poised on a bedrock of learning, while the other teeters and balances uncertain. But I'll get there. Oh; I'll get there. Haven't I questioned enough? And doesn't the cosmos  throw me answers, more often when I am caught unawares? Why, heavens, in the sunrise as I walked around the bend the zinnias cheered to me -

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ "Look at us! Look at us! We are made up of layers, cells, constellations, sister! Haven't you heard we are? And then there is YOU, who are made of the same stuff too! 

Reverie!
How stunning when wild wild things call to me.
invisible to the eye, essential to the soul,
an aisle of talking petals - Now I understand, Exupery! 
In its time, He makes all things beautiful, in its time.

Thus speak I do, about this wisdom trail I tread,
alongside posies - that light my path. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ"

The Lady Prism 

"Details of a September Midweek"

"I am earth, earth
My heart's love
Bursts with hay and flowers
I am a lake of blue air
In which my own appointed place
Field and valley
Stand reflected!" ~ Thomas Merton

"Today, set me as the apple of the eye....

bloom within my sacred inspiration....

fortitude and strength, be my happy angels...

sister of understanding keep me company...

calm be my walkway..

and you, wisdom, are the fervent muse

doth hold my hand as would a faithful friend."

~ "Sophia Prayers" ~ By: The Lady Prism

midweek blessings. starting fresh. sweet tea.  magic feelings. writing. art. friends. something good (on the stove). order. pink juice. quiet walks. exercise. scribbles. poetry. conversations. color. inspiration. hugging someone. greeting sunshine. watching sunset. pasta. crafting dreams. lipstick. books. visual boarding. affirmations. positive living. vitamins. no complaints. patience. zen moments. abundance. soothing music. understanding. chocolate. te deum. love.

~ "Details of a September Midweek"
~ By: The Lady Prism

by my bedside

"I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone." ~ Rilke

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Delighted the sun (finally)  begged indulgence and my room is a cheerful yellow lucent glow where it touches ( insert smile)! Most heavily without mercy an affront by nature - continuous pouring day after day stretching for more than a week. Granted the cool spate was something of relief, nevertheless, an  insipid  sensation of dampness and gray can heartlessly bore into the pores of one's soul. And true, was it not a few occasions wherein I found myself in the brink of morose? And R said, and much do I agree, that for a lady with  geniality of heart, I accept morose and any expressive taciturn  ( when it visits) with a tenacious grip.

Ah, but today the sun is dancing! Pollens everywhere are rejoicing, spamming themselves in prolific bursts puffed up in the air, reveling in the triumph of light, twirling where the breeze may, then softly landing where chance commands. Quite like my thoughts. 

 My mind in theatrics buttered by the companion of  shadow friends in residence within pages. It was last night when I took this. Yes, as the rains lightly yielded its marble remnants, peacefully I was accompanied by my July opus of inspiration. My muse whispered, "capture the essence of it."  I'm glad I did. ( Insert smile.)

the point is

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ  Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,because you would not be able to live them, and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday, far in the future, gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Each day I discover them, magnanimous souls who posses ethereal phrase and behest crimson colors, and whose pulse rivet up and down platelets of refined velvet notes coiled together as  tender vines of vintage grapes soaking tendrils under the faint pink blush of our rising sun....

The point is how fortuitous my days to come across my geniuses of ladies and gents. As if crossing the street of some venerable epoch, they all came a' gathered at an August dinner for peers and such and my presence acknowledged and welcomed as one of the fold.

Ah, allow me this diversion.For though my life is ripe with loves and my friends an appendage to my heart,  my bosom friends fill my inner world with such elan, appearing to my senses in the most profuse manner of giving and teaching -  their lessons most edifying to my soul.

And I am molded each day.


INSPIRATIONS: 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Rilke

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Oleg Tromifov

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Erik Satie

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Maggie

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Musicusblau

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ George Eliot

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Anita Shreve